Transcript episode #26: A Happy Vaginal Birth (And baby blues after) with jordan borzekofski
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00:01 In this birth story episode, we have a happy vaginal birth but with some baby blues postpartum.
00:10 Welcome to the All About Pregnancy and Birth podcast. I'm your host Dr. Nicole Calloway Rankins, a board certified Ob Gyn physician, certified integrative health coach and creator of The Birth Preparation Course, an online childbirth education class that will leave you feeling knowledgeable, prepared, confident, and empowered going into your birth. Quick note, this podcast is for educational purposes only and it's not a substitute for medical advice. See the full disclaimer at www.ncrcoaching.com/disclaimer.
00:46 Nicole: Hello and welcome to another episode of the podcast. Thank you for being here with me today. So we have a birth story episode today and if you've been listening to the podcast for a bit, you know that these are some of my favorite episodes. I just love getting a detailed glimpse into women's experiences giving birth. I feel like I learn a lot from it. So this week I'm talking to Jordan Borzekofski about her birth experience. Jordan is a proud wife to Josh, mommy to baby Jax, and a dog mom to Colt and Kimber. She's also a pediatric dental assistant who happens to have a sweet tooth. Now I really enjoyed talking to Jordan. I love her voice and her Midwest accent so I just love going back and hearing it. Now you definitely want to stay until the end of this episode.
01:42 Nicole: You have to hear her experience with baby blues postpartum. It is a very typical classic description of what happens with baby blue, so you definitely want to tune in to listen to that at the end. But of course you want to hear the whole story. All of it is great. She has a great experience. So, uI know you're going to enjoy this episode. Now before we get into it, let me get a quick shot out to someone who left me an iTunes review. This is D260 and she said, I have found the episodes I have listened to informative and without unnecessary chit chat or filler. She is a good speaker as well, which makes the information easy to follow. I've also thought that all of the guests on the podcast had a lot to add as well. I'm glad I've found this podcast and I would recommend it to anyone who is pregnant or thinking of becoming pregnant.
02:40 Nicole: Well, thank you so much for that kind of review. I especially appreciate the part about the unnecessary chit chat or filler. I try to keep the episodes tight so I'm not wasting your time at all, so I appreciate that. Now let me give a quick plug to The Birth Preparation Course before we get into the episode. The Birth Preparation Courses is my online childbirth education class that will leave you feeling knowledgeable, prepared, confident, and empowered going into your birth. Women love this course. I'm so proud of it that I've created it. You can go to www.ncrcoaching.com/birth-course or www.ncrcoaching.com/enroll to check out information about the course. The course is a way for me to of course provide great childbirth education, but it also helps support the podcast. Right now I am doing everything with the podcast in terms of recording and editing and I would really love to be able to get some help with editing the podcast and free up my time so I can do more content and things that are directly in service to pregnant women. So the course is a way to help support that. So if you're thinking about childbirth education, definitely check out The Birth Preparation Course.
03:51 Nicole: All right, so let's listen to Jordan share her birth experience. You will hear her baby crying in the background at some point, but I want to assure you that her husband is there, so it's not like she's leaving her baby crying to record and at one point she hops in the car at the end just to kind of get away from, from the noise. So you may hear that a little bit, you'll hear that sound. So, don't be surprised when you hear that. Okay. Without further ado, let's get into the episode with Jordan.
04:19 Nicole: Hey Jordan, thank you so much for agreeing to be on the podcast. I am super excited to have you here today.
04:26 Jordan: Well. Thank you Nicole. I'm very excited and honored to be on your podcast. I've been looking forward to it and talking it up with my friends and family for the past month. So everyone's excited to listen.
04:40 Nicole: Awesome. Well, why don't we have you start off by telling us a little bit about yourself and your family.
04:45 Jordan: Yes. Well, I am born and raised in Lincoln, Nebraska. I am 23 years old. My husband is 24. [inaudible]
04:55 Nicole: Jordan, you're making me feel like I'm old.
04:59 Jordan: I get that a lot too. Yes, I've heard that. But yeah, we got married about one and a half years ago. I'm a pediatric dental assistant here in town and my husband is a plumber. We are very busy and with those types of things, but our son Jax, he is eight months old, so we had him around the time of our first anniversary.
05:24 Nicole: Wow.
05:24 Jordan: Very special to us. Yeah, yeah, it was great. So yeah, that's just a little bit about us. We went to high school together and we dated in high school and we've been together ever since.
05:39 Nicole: Oh, that is awesome. Really sweet story. Yes.
05:42 Jordan: Yeah, yeah. So let's talk about the birth of baby Jax. So let's, we, in order to understand your birth, I think we always get to talk a little bit about what the pregnancy is like because that definitely influences your birth experience. So what your pregnancy and your prenatal care like.
06:00 Jordan: Okay, yes, I found out I was pregnant at the end of December around Christmas time and we kind of went back and forth with telling our family then that we were pregnant or not. Cause I had just found out and you know, you're always careful, do you say something in the beginning in case something does happen or do you just, you know, keep quiet, keep it to yourselves? You know, if something does happen then not a lot of people know. But we decided to tell them about the 1st of January, like on New Year's Day, New Year's Eve. And my pregnancy was great. It was not hard at all. It was pretty routine. You know, I got the morning sickness. Um, I did take some medicine to help with that, which it really helped me and I was very grateful for that because there were a lot of mornings, afternoons, even evenings that I was like, oh my gosh, I'm going to be sick. I need be near a bathroom.
07:03 Nicole: Yes. It's such a myth to call that morning sickness because it can definitely be all day sickness.
07:08 Jordan: Yes. And so that was very, you know, okay, let's get this under control and I'll be good to go. So that's kind of my first trimester. But after that, everything went as planned. I went to all my regular checks, you know, met with my doctor. I didn't have any troubles or anything like that, so I was very fortunate.
07:32 Nicole: Good. And you saw a physician for your piloted?
07:35 Jordan: Yes, I did.
07:36 Nicole: And did you feel like supported and happy with the prenatal care you receive?
07:42 Jordan: Yes, I loved it. Mmy doctor's name is Dr. Cruz and he did a great job caring for me and baby Jax and helping my husband, you know, be a part of it too. I think that's very important. My husband tried to come to as many appointments as he could and that was great. And you know, you're just, everyone's excited. Everyone wants to be a part of the experience of all the milestones of the kicks and you know, you hear the heartbeat and you know, do an ultrasound. Like that was all fun and we really enjoyed that.
08:19 Nicole: Yes. That sounded like you had a nice, easy peasy pregnancy. You got past the morning sickness and you were happy with your doctor and everything was good?
08:29 Jordan: Yes.
08:29 Nicole: That's exactly what we love to hear. That's awesome. Yes. So when it came time as you're getting ready, you're getting close to getting prepared for your baby's birth, what types of things did you do to prepare, if anything?
08:43 Jordan: Well my husband and I are very organized and we are planners. So we were like, okay, you know, we need to get the room painted and we need to make sure, you know, we wanted a rocking chair and we wanted the crib and we wanted a nice big dresser and we wanted it all to match.
09:01 Nicole: Right.
09:02 Jordan: So that was, you know, real important that we had to have of a theme for the room. So getting things ready that way for him were great. As for myself and the birth, we didn't really do anything. We did not do any lamaze classes or anything like that. I just kind of felt like whatever happens is going to happen. You know, could go through these classes and prepare as much as I can, but you know, really know what it's going to be like until you're in it. You can't look back. And it's kinda hard to remember some of the things people even, you know, tell you for advice. But we just turned to a lot of our family and friends that have had kids and multiple kids and you know, say well you know, kind of tell me what worked for you or what should we do or not do. So that was very helpful to us and I I liked going that route.
10:02 Nicole: Okay. Okay. Did you read any books or anything?
10:05 Jordan: Yes, we did. We read the classic What to Expect When You're Expecting. And then our pediatrician gave us a book. It was like maybe baby 411.
10:18 Nicole: I haven't heard of that one. That's a new one.
10:20 Jordan: Yeah. Yeah. I can't remember exactly what it's called. But they gave it to us and it was actually really helpful because it has, you know before baby when you have baby stuff like that. Yes. Baby 411.
10:35 Nicole: Gotcha. Now this is one thing that I talk about. Every woman has a different level of how, you know, she likes to prepare and Jordan took a more laid back approach, which is totally fine. You know, some people talk to friends, family, they read a couple books. I do think you need to do something to prepare, you know, even if you don't take a official like childbirth class, I think everybody will naturally kind of think about ways to, you're going to ask questions and want to know what's going on. So, and you probably also felt better because you had a good relationship with your physician that maybe you didn't feel like you needed to do, like the whole full court press.
11:11 Jordan: Yeah, for sure. And I, you know, googled a lot of stuff. I was always, you know, is this okay for me to eat? Oh, that, that was kind of a funny feeling. What was that? Let's you know, look that up. But I mean, you know, nowadays that's just our world with technology and the Internet, you know, so that's readily available. So that was nice as well. Okay.
11:34 Nicole: Gotcha. So what was your birth like? Take us through the whole thing from the first moment of labor to when your baby was born.
11:44 Jordan: Well, it was a Friday and I do not work on Fridays, so a lot of my appointments were scheduled on and I'm an early bird, so I wanted to go in the morning and I went to the doctor's office for a check. I was 37 weeks and about four or five days along and the week before I was already dilated two centimeters and I was about 70%. effaced well then this Friday that I, we, and it all started, I went to my check, I was still two centimeters and I was about like 75% he faced, he said, so he was like, you know what, I'll be surprised if you don't have this baby within the next week. So I was like, okay, I need to, you know, this is crunch time. I need to go to Target, I need to, you know, get all the last minute things that we need since he'll be here any minute.
12:46 Jordan: That's how I kind of took it as you know, and how we wanted to be prepared. So I did some shopping after my appointment and my grandparents invited me over to their house because my grandma's like, you know, why don't you come over and hang out with Grandpa and I until Josh gets home. You know, I wouldn't want anything to happen. And I kind of laughed and I'm like, it's okay grandma, I'm fine, you know, no big deal. So I went out and hung out with them until maybe about like 3:30 in the afternoon and I got home and I was pulling into my garage and I step out of my car and my water broke.
13:28 Nicole: Oh my goodness.
13:29 Jordan: Yes. But in that moment I was not sure. I was like, okay, I could have easily just peed my pants, you know?
13:37 Nicole: Was it like a classic big gush or just a little bit?
13:37 Jordan: It was just a little bit. And so I was just, I kind of stepped out of the car and I'm like, Huh, okay. That was a little weird. So walk into the house, then I'm going in the bathroom to kinda like clean up. And then it happens again about two minutes later, I feel another gush. And I'm like, okay, well I better call the doctor's office and call my husband and just let everyone know that, you know, I think maybe my water broke. So I called the doctor's office. They said, yeah, why don't you head to the hospital, at least get checked, you know? And so I called my husband to come home and my dad actually doesn't work very far away from our house, so he was actually the first one here to at least be with me. In case I started not to feel well, but you know, remembering back to that day, I didn't feel horrible, I had a lot of back pain though, I remember. So I didn't ever feel like I was having contractions. I just felt very uncomfortable in my back. I just felt like I needed to sit down or lay down and take a little bit of a nap.
14:54 Nicole: Gotcha.
14:55 Jordan: So about four o'clock, my husband got home and we hopped in the truck and headed to the hospital. I had all our bags packed and ready to go in case we needed to stay. So we went upstairs, got all checked in, and as they're taking me to the room to check me to see what was going on, I pass the doctor and he looks at me and he goes, what are you doing here? And I'm like, well we might be having a baby today sooner than next week. So I was thought that was kind of funny. Yeah, they checked me out and his, you know, it takes a little while, you know when you're in there and checking everything. And they got me all hooked up to all kinds of monitors, checking on the baby and they checked the fluid to see if it, you know, my water had broken everything and they said that it did. So they were like, are you ready to have a baby? And I'm like, of course. So then I got admitted and everything and settled into a room and that was probably about like 7:30 so that took a little while.
16:05 Nicole: Oh, it did take awhile. Yeah.
16:07 Jordan: And so I was just kind of happy. Okay. I don't need to go home and deal with this because now I was starting to really not feel the best. I was just like, okay, something is going on. And so they got me all hooked up, you know, to the monitors and stuff in there. They got the IV going.
16:29 Nicole: Who was with you?
16:29 Jordan: My husband Josh. Yes, he was with me. My dad did meet us at the hospital and then my mom and my sister came and met him there since they were coming home from work and school. So they came and they were in the room when we got to our delivery room and got settled in there. And then Josh is mom, my mother in law. She met us in there too. So that was nice that everyone came for a little support stuff. But they got me hooked up to some pitocin. I had a drip going to get the contractions started, you know, more intense and all that. So that was, you know, really good and I just labored through the whole night.
17:20 Jordan: I got an epidural and that is exactly what I wanted. I knew I wanted that from the beginning. I had a great experience with that. I barely felt it. I had a great anesthesiologists who did it, and so that was very nice.
17:39 Nicole: At what point in your labor did you get the epidural?
17:42 Jordan: Yes, I got that at three centimeters, so I hadn't progressed that much compared to when I went in, but he was on the floor and they were going to go in for a c section, so he's like, I can come and do it now. And I was like, yes, please. I will take that now. Yeah.
18:00 Nicole: And about what time was that?
18:02 Jordan: That was probably about 10:30 in the evening. Yeah. So it wasn't too long after I got in there, but.
18:09 Nicole: Gotcha.
18:09 Jordan: Yeah, I was definitely feeling it at that point. They were, the contractions were getting a lot more intense and it was getting a lot more uncomfortable just laying there. I felt like I needed a little something.
18:24 Nicole: And I hope every woman listening knows that this is perfectly fine. Jordan was obviously very clear. I want an epidural and I'm going to get it when I'm ready. That is great. So yes, be comfortable with everything. Did that work for you?
18:37 Jordan: Yes, and luckily all the nurses and the doctors that I was working with, they were all fine with that, so I never felt, you know, oh, should I not do that? You know, stuff like that. I could see where people could easily, you know, get talked into it or out of it or into and it's like, just go with how you're feeling and what you want to experience if you can help it.
19:00 Nicole: Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. And did you feel like you had good support from the nursing staff at the hospital and everything?
19:05 Jordan: Yes, I did. They were all very good to me and I was actually, and I loved the nurse that I had when I was laboring through the night and she actually needed to leave and go home when I was about ready to have Jax. So that was really sad. Yeah, that was sad. But it was a very good relationship that everyone there had with each other and with the patients I have never felt. Yeah.
19:38 Nicole: And then after you got the epidural, did you just kind of hang out and relax? Did you get some sleep? What did you do?
19:45 Jordan: Yeah, I felt a lot more at ease. Um, I was talking a lot more, being a lot more myself. But then I was like, no, I better start thinking about yeah, trying to go to bed till like even a little nap and stuff. And so I tried to, but they also gave me, one of those peanut balls, in between my legs.
20:07 Nicole: Tell us about the peanut ball.
20:07 Jordan: I bet you probably seen a lot of them. That was my first one. You know, just like a big exercise ball that almost looks like a peanut. It dips in the middle and that's where you put it in between your legs and it helps progress labor along kind of.
20:32 Nicole: As far as we know, it's, it looks exactly like a big, like a big peanut it's pretty big. As far as we know, it helps open up your pelvis because when you have an epidural, you're not moving around as much to kind of move the baby around. So keeping that big ball in there like helps keep your pelvis open and make space for the baby to move. So it works great. Yes.
20:52 Jordan: So that, it was very annoying from my standpoint. I was like, every time I had to move just an inch, it was like, okay, we have to move peanut too, you didn't know you didn't do anything without getting him in a different position.
21:09 Nicole: How long did you have the peanut ball?
21:11 Jordan: Since until I was like in active, like going to have Jax.
21:17 Nicole: Oh, you had it a long time. Yes.
21:20 Jordan: And they would not let me rest from it, which I thought was weird. I just kept saying, you know, this is a little uncomfortable. Like can I just maybe sleep for a little bit and when I wake up do it and they're like, wow, you can, but we'd really not like you to do that. And so I was like, okay. You know, I guess. But yeah, so it made that, that made it very hard to sleep in my opinion. I just couldn't quite get comfortable. So yeah, we have some fun with peanut ball and Josh and I joked around that when Jax was born, we were gonna name him peanut because we have the peanut ball.
22:02 Nicole: Right.
22:04 Jordan: So that's always a good little memory. But, with the epidural, you know, you can't really feel anything from below your waist. And so I couldn't feel any of my contractions anymore, which was great. But I also kind of missed it in a way because I'm like, okay, you know, what's going on? Well, Josh was great at you know, helping and being involved in everything. And he would always look on the monitor and he'd say, you're having a contraction right now. Do you feel anything? I'm like no, I don't, I feel fine. Stuff like that. So yeah, I was very happy that I had that and that support and my parents stayed most into the night with me.
22:52 Nicole: I was going to ask who was with you.
22:52 Jordan: Yes, my husband stayed right by me in a chair and my mom slept in a, like a pullout bed that was in there. And my dad and my sister stayed for awhile too. And then they headed home and my mom met them at home later. But, other than that, yeah, that was just kind of the night. Very uneventful. Then about, you know, 6:45 right before the nurses were ready to change. She checked me one last time and I was 10 centimeters dilated, so we were ready to go. And that was at 7:45, I think. Excuse me. Cause then Jax was born really quick after I was checked. He was born at 8:10 in the morning.
23:43 Nicole: Well let me back up a little bit. Did you see your doctor at all during the night?
23:49 Jordan: Ooh, no.
23:50 Nicole: Yeah. A lot of people don't realize that it's really your nurse who is there with you for the vast majority of your labor. Your doctor is kind of in and out, and may not be there except a couple times.
24:04 Jordan: Yes. And, yeah, no, now that you're saying that, I'm like, yeah, I totally forgot that because in the beginning, Josh, and I thought that was very weird where like, you know, why isn't the doctor really checking up on you? Like we would hear, you know, oh, the doctors said, you know, good, we're going to keep doing this. Okay. But it was always the nursery relaying it, you know. But yeah, and my doctor didn't get to deliver Jax. It was just one of the on call doctors from my group that I go to that did. So I just saw him when I was pushing for, yeah, just the few minutes.
24:41 Nicole: Yeah. I think a lot of people don't realize, it's really your labor nurse who's with you at your bedside and the doctor maybe in and out, especially overnight. They may be at home, honestly, and they're just talking to the nurse over the phone and then they come in when it's close to delivery or that on call Dr. May be there, but they may be sleeping just because they'd been up all day in the office. So, even if they're in the hospital, they may not, it's likely that they're not going to be in the room. That's just kind of the way, you know, labor and delivery works. Yeah.
25:11 Jordan: Yeah. And that did kind of surprise us cause I didn't really think about it or, you know, I wasn't sure really how it went, but I was like, oh, okay, that, you know, works. Yeah.
25:22 Nicole: So once you found out you were completely dilated and then, I guess the nurses had to do changes, shift and all that stuff, so what was pushing like for you?
25:32 Jordan: It was not as bad as I thought it was going to be. Probably because of my epidural, but I felt just a lot of pressure when I needed to push and when I was pushing. Other than that, I mean, it was bad at all. I held my husband's hand. I also told the doctor and the nurses when I needed to push, cause you know, they like you to, you know, take a breather. And a lot of times I was like, no, I just need to go again. I feel like I just want to keep going. I tried to just use everything I had to keep, you know, pushing and to get him out, you know, I don't want to be pushing a long time, so I just used every ounce of energy that I could muster to do that. And so it just did not take long at all.
26:28 Nicole: You said 30 minutes?
26:31 Jordan: 30 minutes. Yes. Yeah. So it was not, not bad at all. I thought. Yeah.
26:38 Nicole: Did you want to do anything like look and see why you were pushing, like watch?
26:44 Jordan: No, I didn't want to.
26:48 Nicole: Yeah. And that's totally fine. Yeah. Some people do. Some people ask that. I actually find that more women don't want to watch actually.
26:54 Jordan: Yeah, I get that. I feel like it might have distracted me. Yeah, no, I was like, you know what, I think I need to just focus on my job here.
27:21 Nicole: So then when he comes out, did they bring him right up on your skin?
27:32 Jordan: Yes. Yes they did. They put him right on my chest and we did the skin to skin contact for an hour. Yeah. They just kind of quickly checked him out and I just remember, you know, when he did come out, I was just like, I just want to hear him cry. Right. You know, then I'll be fine. But before that I was like, okay, are they gonna, you know, take him and check him first or you know, I wasn't sure how that was going to go, but yeah, they just checked him real quick and held them up for me and then they kind of put them in his blanket and put him on my chest. They kind of cleaned them up while he was on me.
28:10 Nicole: That's good.
28:10 Jordan: Yeah, it was really good. And so that hour was awesome and I felt like that was really important. And you know, we just kinda got to, you know, know each other. It's just a great moment. Then the doctors, you know, came in and they did a full check and got him really wiped down good and stuff like that. So that was good too.
28:38 Nicole: Yeah. Did you, do you remember if you did delayed cord clamping where they waited to cut the cord at all?
28:44 Jordan: No, they did not in Josh, I'm wanting to cut the cord, so he did that. Okay. Okay. Yeah. All right.
28:53 Nicole: Okay. So, and that's one thing I do, we should start doing more. Delayed cord clamping is when we wait to cut the cord for 30 seconds at least. And it gives the baby's a little bit of boost at the end. They're starting to be some more research maybe is not as beneficial as we thought. But in general we like to wait to cut the cord. So I'm curious as to how common that is and then sound like it happened in your, I don't want you to feel like you missed out on anything.
29:17 Jordan: No, no. Well I, you know, I mean it wasn't like right away right away. Like he was already on my chest when Josh got the cord.
29:27 Nicole: Gotcha. Okay.
29:28 Jordan: So maybe they did, yeah, that's all the 30 seconds.
29:32 Nicole: Right. Yeah. So it's quite possible that they did, cause most often if they do skin to skin, they'll do delayed cord clamping. So maybe they did and you just didn't realize. And then did you have to get any stitches or anything else?
29:49 Jordan: Yes, I did. I had, oh, would it be like a level two?
29:56 Nicole: Second. Second degree. Second degree, yes.
29:58 Jordan: Yeah, that was what it was. So kind of in the middle, I guess.
30:01 Nicole: I bet. Yes. That's very common. So there's first, second, third and fourth. And for like first being the most minor, fourth being the worst and first and second are very common.
30:13 Jordan: Yes. Yeah, I had that, which I was very grateful for the epidural during that. It's a lotta pushing and tugging. You know, stuff like that. But I remember the doctor telling me, and I'm going to have to cut a little bit, he's right here, but I'm just going to have to cut a little bit to help him out.
30:32 Nicole: Oh, that's an episiotomy actually.
30:37 Jordan: Yes. Yes.
30:38 Nicole: Okay. Okay. And what was his rationale for, he just said that he just felt like you needed to have an episiotomy?
30:48 Jordan: Yes. He just kind of said that Jax's head was right there and that I was pushing great and everything, but maybe it was going a little too low or he just wasn't in the right line to go straight out. So they needed to just make that little cut to help him out a little bit. Cause then right after he did that, I literally pushed like one and a half times and then he was out, so. Okay.
31:19 Nicole: And he did discuss it with you before he cut anything?
31:24 Jordan: Real briefly. He just said, this is what I'm going to do. It shouldn't be bad. It's very common. And then he practically said it is necessary in order to get Jax's out. So I was like, okay, do whatever you need to do. Yeah.
31:39 Nicole: Gotcha. Okay. Okay. And obviously I can't second guess your experience or why he said, you know, what happened. Episiotomy is not as common as it used to be for sure. So, but again, you know, I wasn't there so I don't know exactly what, what was what. So you had stitches afterwards and then, how do you feel like your recovery was?
32:01 Jordan: My recovery was really good. Um, physically it, I mean everything hurts for, you know, a couple weeks, but I mean, even the day we went home from the hospital, my husband and I ran a couple errands because we were like, okay, we, I did not breastfeed. I formula fed.
32:22 Nicole: Did you make that decision ahead of time that that's what you were going to do?
32:26 Jordan: Yes. Yeah. Josh and I talked about it. It wasn't anything that I was super like drawn to the idea of breastfeeding. I didn't feel like I really needed do it or I was going to be super passionate about it. I felt like in order for me to be happy and for everyone to maybe help out when the baby came that he would be on formula and I just felt like that was the best option for everyone. You know, going into it and I'm like, you know, maybe when I have him it'll, I don't know, be different, but it really wasn't. I think my mind was set up and I didn't want to try it if I wasn't going to be 100% into it. So.
33:12 Nicole: And how did you feel like in terms of the support from the nursing staff and the physicians about that decision?
33:20 Jordan: Very, very well, that went over very well with the doctor and with Jax's pediatrician. I told them that from the beginning and they go, yeah, that is perfectly fine. If you know you want to do it, we will not hound you about it. We will not give you information about it, you know, if your mind's already made up. And I was like, yeah, I'm pretty sure. So no, that was, that was very good and I was nervous about that. I have heard a lot of things where women have said they wanted to formula feed right away and that they might have kind of got pressured into breastfeeding and then it was just really bad or, you know, wherever. And I just didn't want that, you know, and it worked out well for us and for our family. I wouldn't have done it any different.
34:08 Nicole: So yeah. Well that's good that you felt supported in your decision.
34:12 Jordan: Yes, very much so.
34:14 Nicole: Okay. So you get home. And what were things like when you got home?
34:20 Jordan: When I got home, um, everything was good. I mean, I still felt like I was on that high of Jax just being born. Nothing really got to me or anything like that. My husband was a great help. So were my parents and my sister and my mother in law, they all, you know, came over and spent the days with us, kind of just helping us get into our new routine.
34:47 Nicole: Right. That's great that you had that support a lot of people don't have tha.
34:49 Jordan: Yeah, I was very fortunate to have them. They all live in town, so it's really easy to call on them and say, hey, you know, can you come over here and look at this or what do I do? You know? So, yeah, that was really nice. But I did experience baby blues once I got home.
35:11 Nicole: Tell us about that. Yeah, it was not right away.
35:15 Jordan: It was probably about like five days after I got home. And you know, when you're in the thick of it and it just all of a sudden hit me. I remember as a Saturday morning because Josh was home from work and I just like got up out of bed and I started to like cry. And I was like, I don't know why I'm crying. I felt very overwhelmed but not like I couldn't do it or didn't want to keep doing it, it wasn't that bad. It was just, this is a lot, you know, I knew it was gonna be a lot, but this is a lot and no one can prepare you for that.
35:59 Nicole: Yes. Like you just can't. You know, I'm an Bb Gyn for God's sakes. And I had no idea. You just could not be prepared for what it's like to have this human that you're responsible for.
36:09 Jordan: Yes. And I was like, you know, I, my body went through something amazing but very traumatizing to my body. You know, and when you're not getting any sleep, you know, that doesn't help either. So it's like I'm the type of person that I need to at least get 8 hours. Otherwise I'm going to be grouchy. I'm gonna not enjoy the day. I like my sleep, I, you know, want it. So that was very much an adjustment for me in terms of that. But I felt with my baby blues, I mean I had it for about a couple of weeks and every day I just tried to work through it as best that I could. You know, some days it really hit me, others didn't. And I had never felt anything like that before. It was very shocking and different for me, so I was terrified.
37:11 Nicole: What were you, what were you terrified about that was going to happen about?
37:14 Jordan: I was just terrified of how I felt. I never felt that way before. I was not educated well, it all about the postpartum baby blues and depression, you know, we all hear about the postpartum depression that a lot of women face, you know, and that it is real and it is scary. But I feel like no one talks about the baby blues. It's very almost taboo to talk about. It may be, or maybe people don't want to.
37:51 Nicole: So did you talk to anybody about it. Like what did you do?
37:55 Jordan: I talked to my mom about it and my dad and my husband and they were all very responsive to it. And then my parents' neighbors, she is a postpartum nurse at the hospital that we were at. So I went and talked to her. I was like, you know, you would know this. She had three kids now, four of her own, and she went through the baby blues too. And so one day when I was over at my parents, she just came over and, you know, we talked about it and she goes, you know, I see that, you know, you're not depressed. You're getting up, you're getting yourself ready. But you know, I know that you are, you know, crying when you get home or you know, just everything kind of feels overwhelming a lot of times. She goes and that's very normal. It's a lot of your hormones that have been skyrocketing for the past nine months, all of a sudden plummeting.
38:57 Jordan: And so I felt like I was not very informed about that. But when I did, you know, talk to her about it and stuff, I felt a lot better. I felt like, okay, this is okay, this will pass.
39:12 Nicole: Exactly. Do you feel like, did your pediatrician like, cause you see your pediatrician, you don't see your Ob doctor for six weeks, which is something that we need to change. But did you pediatrician do any kind of depression screening or asked how you were doing or anything like that?
39:26 Jordan: Yes, they did it every appointment. And about the first two, like Josh went with me to the very first appointment that we had. You know, just like the day after we went home and that was fine. And then I went to my one week appointment by myself, Josh was back to work. And that was fun. But I went to the next appointment, might have been at three weeks and I just remember crying. I was like, to him, I was like, you know, I'm kind of going through the baby blues and I'm like, I feel like I can talk about it and I want to talk about it and be proactive about it. But I wasn't quite sure who to talk to. You know, the pediatrician was giving me the questions, but I was kinda concerned at why I wasn't seen or getting these questions from my doctors office, you know, I'm like, you know, like maybe that's who I need to be talking to, you know? So I did call them and say, you know, hey, this is going on. This is kind of how I'm feeling. I'm not real sure, you know, with maybe I need to be seen or whatever. And the nurse, you know, barely even talked to me about it and then wrote me a prescription for antidepressants.
40:51 Nicole: Wow. That's disappointing.
40:56 Jordan: I was, and then I really kind of flew off the handle. I was very upset. Then I was like, no, that's not what I'm saying. I'm just saying I'm trying to talk to a professional about this. However, no one is helping me. I felt like, in the community, you know, as far as my doctors and Jackson's doctors and stuff. And I was like, I don't think there's a problem. I don't want to hurt myself. I don't want to hurt my son. I just don't feel like myself and quite right. You know?
41:34 Nicole: Right. And did they say like come in for a visit or did your pediatrician, did your pediatrician's office just say call your Ob doctor? Is that what happened? And then...
41:43 Jordan: Well, I called my ob doctor first and then I had the appointment. And I was really mad that I got those, you know, that prescription because I did not want that. I did not feel that's what I needed. So then I did ask the pediatrician and I was like, can you help me or give me, point me in the right direction. Can I just, you know, anything here. And so he said, he gave me like the name of like, some postpartum, like family, like therapists. And then I also felt like, well that's not what I need either.
42:21 Nicole: What did you feel like you needed?
42:25 Jordan: I felt like I needed to just talk to my doctor, to my Ob. I just needed to hear that this is normal. It's okay, it will pass. Let's talk about it. Let's, I needed some ideas of what to do when I did feel those lows. Like, um, one thing that my parents, neighbors she did share with me is when you start feeling like that and you're almost, you know, kind of feeling suffocated by it. She said, you need to go and lay down, you need to sleep, you need to take a nap.
43:00 Nicole: So the nurse, one of the things you can do is just get some sleep when you need sleep.
43:05 Jordan: Yes. And you know, just try to, you know, let your body heal. Cause I still just needed that. I felt like, you know. So that, that really helped. I, when I started to feel like it was, you know, kind of getting to me, I would give Josh the baby or you know, we'd call my parents to come over and say, Hey, can you come, you know, over for a little bit, I'm going to try to lay down, you know? And that was very helpful.
43:33 Nicole: Okay. And then you feel like after a couple of weeks things got better?
43:37 Jordan: Yes, very much so. I start, everything became easier. We got into our routine, which was very helpful for me since I, you know, like being in a routine and knowing what's going to happen.
43:54 Nicole: Right.
43:54 Jordan: So that was very comforting to me and made everything okay.
44:00 Nicole: Okay. So you got to your six week checkup and you talked about it.
44:05 Jordan: Yep. And I told him that I was, you know, upset that I got the medicine and I just kind of wanted to talk, but that that wasn't an option to me.
44:13 Nicole: And what did he say?
44:15 Jordan: And he was just like, Oh, you know, I'm sorry about that. However we do that in case people are really not feeling well and that they need like some medicine and stuff and now we want to get that to them. So, you know, things don't spiral out of control, which, okay, I understand. But I wish I would have been given some guidelines or maybe even asked some questions first. Yes, yes. Yeah. Okay. But you know, that's just me and that's how how I felt you know it to be. Yeah.
44:57 Nicole: I think what you're saying is v is perfectly reasonable. You're describing classic baby blues. It's the first two or three weeks and then it gets better and a lot of times it just takes support to get through things. And not, you know, you don't necessarily need to start a medication right away. Maybe you do just need to talk. And it's one of the things that our organization, our National Organization for Ob Gyn are working on that we should touch bases with women sooner just to see how they're doing and provide support.
45:27 Jordan: Yes, I agree. I felt like that would have really helped me. And that could really help a lot of people, you know, cause I'm probably not the first one and probably not the last one that is going to have it.
45:43 Nicole: Right. So then do you feel like after that time thing, since then have gone okay?
45:47 Jordan: Yes, very much so. Everything has gotten just to be back to normal except you know, we have a little bit of a new normal and, okay. That's okay.
45:57 Nicole: Yeah, there's definitely a new normal after you have a baby. Yes. Good, good, good, good. You have shared a lot of great information today. I think that a lot of women may be surprised to hear things like someone chose formula and you were totally okay with that. You went for the epidural, which is perfectly reasonable. You know, you, I'm just, I guess I'm sorta like, feeling you were very confident in your choices and I hope that people listening will take away the same thing, that you can feel confident, there's no right way to give birth and you should feel confident in the choices that you make for yourself.
46:42 Jordan: Yes. I completely agree. Because you know, at the end of the day, you're the one that has to live with that decision and does it work for your family? Is it comfortable for you? Does it make sense for you, you know, and every, yeah, everyone's life. Everyone's lifestyle is different, you know, so, yeah, for sure.
47:02 Nicole: Absolutely. So looking back on things, is there anything you wish you knew beforehand? Well, obviously the postpartum blues part, but yeah, anything else that kind of stands out?
47:13 Jordan: Oh, let's see here. Not really. I mean, I knew I was going to be tired and I knew we'd be getting up at night, but I mean, I don't know, I just think it didn't all necessarily go as planned, but as much of as planned it could have gone. I felt like it went so I didn't really have too many, you know, surprises or things I would have wished I would have known no more about.
47:42 Nicole: Gotcha. But, but definitely it sounds like you wish you would've been more prepared for the postpartum blues and what can happen. Okay.
47:49 Jordan: Yes. And I feel like I could be a big advocate for that. You know, if anyone's ever, you know, feeling that way or has questions about it, I'd be so happy to talk to someone about it. You know? I don't want to hide it or that it didn't happen or it's better than me or not, you know? It's just like, no, it's real and it happens. I feel like it happens to a lot of people when nice started talking about it, you know, then a lot of people were like, you know, I did go through that thinking back, you know, I didn't quite feel myself. Yeah.
48:24 Nicole: It's definitely helpful for me to hear because I been on the other side where I was at ob Gyn and I didn't touch bases with women until six weeks after delivery and we need to do better. Yes.
48:34 Jordan: Yeah. And I think that would just help everyone.
48:37 Nicole: Yeah. Especially for first time moms. Yes, for sure.
48:40 Jordan: Yeah. Now that I know, you know with, you know, if I have a second kid and stuff like that, I know what to expect.
48:48 Nicole: Yeah. Yeah. So just to wrap up, what is one thing that you would tell other women as they get ready for birth? What is like your one favorite piece of advice?
48:57 Jordan: My favorite piece of advice would be don't be scared at going to happen. Is it common for you? You like it or not? It's hard to not feel scared, but don't you know it's all going to end up how it should be. And even if it's not how you think it is, you know, it's God's way. It's your baby's way.
49:20 Nicole: I like that, I like that a lot. So where can women connect with you. If they're interested in connecting with you outside, you can, if you don't have any place to connect that's fine.
49:30 Jordan: I would love that. Yeah, totally love that. You can connect with me on Facebook, Jordan Borzekofski, or on Instagram. I think my platform is JBorze. And people can send me a message and I'd be happy to get back with them or talk with them, you know, through anything or just anything baby. Yeah, I'd love it.
49:57 Nicole: I will link to those things in the show notes so you can just click from the show notes and, and connect with Jordan if you want to, she's obviously very open and willing to help with some of the issues in that you can may face after having a baby. So thank you so much for that Jordan.
50:14 Jordan: Yes, of course. And thank you for having me. I feel so honored.
50:18 Nicole: I really appreciate your time. This was I think, a super helpful conversation and I really enjoyed it.
50:25 Jordan: Thank you. Same. Yeah. Well you take care and I will talk to you later. Me Too. Thank you Dr. Rankins.
50:32 Nicole: Oh, Nicole is fine. I'm only doctor in the hospital. Yes. All right, well you take care.
50:41 Jordan: Thank you. You too.
50:43 Nicole: Bye. Bye.
50:44 Nicole: All right, so that's it wasn't that great. And don't you love her voice and her accent? Well, you know at the end of every episode where I have a guest on, I do something called Nicole's notes where I talk about my top three or four takeaways from the episode. So here are the notes for this episode with Jordan. Number one, Jordan didn't do a childbirth education class to prepare. She did read What to Expect When Expecting, which is a popular pregnancy book. And she kind of had the attitude that whatever's going to happen will happen now that worked perfectly fine for her and that does work fine for a lot of women. But I do want to caution you that when you take that approach, you are taking some chances and as a possibility that things won't work out. So I think that in order for you to be best prepared for your birth and really get the experience that you want in addition to reading books, I think a childbirth education class is also a great thing to do. Whether you do it in person at your hospital, do it through an independent childbirth educator or an online option. I think a childbirth education class is the way to go for most women.
51:57 Nicole: All right. Number two. I like the part where, and I shouldn't say I didn't like, but it gave me pause I guess when she was talking about having the peanut ball and how she was kind of pressured to keep it, even though it was uncomfortable for her. The peanut ball works. It works great. It looks like a big peanut like I described, and it does help keep your pelvis open to facilitate labor. But if it's uncomfortable and women don't like it, then you should be able to get a break from it for a bit. So if you find that something like this happens where you're feeling pressured to do something and Jordan, you know, she found her own way to deal with it. So I'm not at all second guessing her choices or saying she made a wrong choice. I'm just saying that you should be able to not do something if you don't want to. And just point out the fact that it's wrong for us to pressure you to do it if it's not something that you want to do.
52:52 Nicole: Now similarly with the episiotomy, I don't know if you could tell when I was talking about it, but it was like, wait, what, how, what happened? It was making me uncomfortable. I'll be honest, when she was talking about how the doctor just said, well, I'm just gonna make a little cut to help the baby come out. That is classic language for doctors cutting an episiotomy. To me that really doesn't need to be cut and it's done as a means to help speed things up with the delivering.
53:25 Nicole: Now she healed fine from her episiotomy and most women do. But not all women do and it carries risk. It can lead to a further tear, it can lead to bleeding infection, so it really shouldn't be done unless absolutely necessary. And she hadn't pushed that long. She'd only pushed for like 30 minutes of that. So it wasn't like she had been pushing a long time. So it just made me uncomfortable to hear that kind of language being used. It's classic language for trying to rush the delivery.
53:58 Nicole: Okay. Last thing is Jordan had a happy delivery. She was happy with her experience but she did have baby blues and baby blues are so common. She gave, gives a very classic description of how baby blues place out and one thing that I think she highlighted this really important is that most of the time you don't need to jump to medication right away.
54:23 Nicole: Now this is not a knock on medication because of course some women will have depression or anxiety where medication is the right option, but it shouldn't always be the first choice. One thing that helps a lot and that she found that's helped a lot with support. Women need support after having a baby and that's not something that we do a great job of in our country. Thankfully Jordan had support from family, she had support from the postpartum nurse who lived nearby and she was able to work through it, but not all women have that and obviously we do a bad job in the medical system waiting to see women until six weeks postpartum is a mistake. Now the Ob Gyn specialty is making some effort to change that. Recently there was a something called a committee opinion from ACOG, the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists that recommended that women be seen within the first three weeks postpartum or at least have a touch point where you contact women within the first three weeks postpartum.
55:27 Nicole: Even if we just like did a phone call or touch bases with women in the first couple of weeks, you know, you don't even always have to come in for a visit. Just kinda talk and see like how are you doing? Because as she mentioned, a lot of it was just talking through it and she wanted to get that reassurance from a medical provider that everything was okay. I think this is especially important for first time moms, so definitely look for that, those places of support. It could be a postpartum support group at your hospital or in your community. It could be a Facebook group for moms. That's a support source for you. One thing that I say women should consider is on their baby registry and taking off some of the items like diapers or you can keep the diapers and stuff on, but also adding like money to help pay for a Doula, a Doula who can be there during your birth and postpartum Doula. That type of support can be very, very helpful.
56:24 Nicole: Okay, so that's it for this episode. Please be sure to subscribe to the podcast in iTunes or wherever you listen to podcasts so you never miss an episode and if you feel inclined, please leave an honest review on iTunes. It helps other women find the show and I may give you a shout out on a future episode. Now. Next week on the podcast, I have a pediatrician on who exclusively does in home care for newborns. It's interesting, she actually used to be a neonatologist, so come on back to hear that great episode next week, and until then, I wish you a healthy and happy pregnancy and birth.
57:02 Today's episode is brought to you by Women's Wellness Coaching by Dr. Nicole Calloway Rankins. Head to www.ncrcoaching.com to check out my free one hour mini course on how to make your birth plan as well as my comprehensive online childbirth education class, The Birth Preparation Course with over eight hours of content and a private course community. The Birth Preparation Course will leave you knowledgeable, prepared, confident, and empowered going into your birth. Head to www.ncrcoaching.com to learn more.